Self Help And Education Blog

Hi,

I attended a seminar this week where the speaker told the story about one of his clients who was a financial planner. The speaker specialised in sales and marketing and said that on the first day when he met with his new client Harry, he was shown into his office.

The office looked like a demolition site. There were files and paperwork piled up on Harry’s desk, floor and filing cabinets. In fact the speaker said he had to remove another mountain of files from the visitor’s seat before he could sit down. He then went on to say that he told Harry that there was no way they could even consider doing further work until Harry tidied up and got organised.

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If you want to talk about a limiting perspective on life that can take you out of the game faster than anything, it is what I call the “perfectionist frame.” The feeling or belief that whatever you are doing or working on has to be nothing less than perfect or it is unacceptable.

There are many possible places this comes from, whether it’s having parents who put that kind of pressure and expectation on you as a child, the experience of actually having done some thing(s) to perfection in the past and developing a compulsive attachment to that experience, wanting to show everything and everyone that you can do it or ultimately you really are better then them at the end of the day, the fear of “screwing up” or letting people down, fear or criticism, and on and on and on.

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My father was a successful man even when he didn’t have any money. So when the material positions or the “proof” of success came about he was still the same person. He was still successful as he had always been and still took control of his future to continue being successful. Some people would say that if you are struggling to pay bills or just never able to meet your goals, that is not success. Maybe some might call that failure. Not so much, a successful person is someone that wakes up every morning and hits the ground running. A successful person is that man or woman who is constantly focused on ways to better themselves. These people know that there is no such thing as a “finished product”, there is always a way that you as a person can improve and each day that should be your goal. If you believe that you are successful and build on that success then anything is possible.

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There are four key steps to being successful in the counseling process:

WILLINGNESS

Many who need counseling either will not seek it or they come for therapy and are not willing to make any changes in their lives. They want others to change; they want their environment or circumstances to change but they are resistant to doing anything different themselves. It is surprising how much emotional pain a person can endure because they have difficulty embracing the idea of change.

Many individuals have difficulty with the process of change because it can create much anxiety getting outside one’s comfort zone. For some, it’s just being a creature of habit and the known is more preferable than the unknown. New habits, new methods of doing things, and changing thinking patterns or behaviors take a great deal of energy and time, as well as courage.

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There are three important principals at work when it comes to achieving your maximum performance. These are principals that are often ignored but are essential to understand.

First, your maximum is determined by how your are built. Genetics does play a part in what you can be good at. Some of us are not capable of being world class sprinters or Olympic swimmers. We deceive ourselves if we think otherwise. TV reality shows make entertainment out of this principal when we have to watch people who believe that genetics don’t matter and they have the stuff to make it. Having said this there are an awful lot of people who have the genetics but never do anything with it.

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Why is it that as we progress through our lives, we often get the message that we have something to prove? We believe that we have to be proficient at everything in order to be considered successful. What is it about our ego that causes us to value who we are based on what others think?

Sadly in our society this mindset is very common. Even more concerning is that in the work place environment it is even worse. So often the culture we work in is overly competitive and each person is looking to “get theirs”. We believe we have to continually prove ourselves or do things on our own so we aren’t considered incompetent. We fear that someone else will make us look bad, or worse take our position. Is it our ego? What are we afraid of? Why don’t we help each other?

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Here I am, a Las Vegas author and I ask the question “Are women Alpha Babes or Savvy Power Women? Are we men bashers or classy and sexy while being a force in Corporate America?”

The really big question: What are we?

I was facing this dilemma while working to create a new web site. Seems like an easy task. You buy a domain name and off you go. But which domain name? I have bought so many I could open my own store! Well, I have learned from the marketing guru’s “Ask others”. So I did. Some marketing advisors said use a web site name that will attract women by the shock factor. Some said no, women need respect so stop calling them babes!

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“People with goals succeed because they know where they are going. It’s as simple as that.”

Earl Nightingale

All of you must have set yourself some goals. A goal, in simple terms, is a properly defined target that can give you clarity of thought, direction in life, motivation to achieve something in your life and the ability to focus on your life’s agenda.

While for many of you being able to achieve even the most simple of tasks can prove to be a Herculean task. You may want to achieve a lot in a short time, but lack of proper goals and inability in goal setting can keep success away from you. If you want to be successful and fulfill your dreams you must read this article, which will help you on how to set goals and work towards achieving them in your life.

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Taking each business day, step by step, is the easiest way to succeed. You will be able to teach yourself a routine. Not only that, you will teach yourself, not be lazy. Procrastination is key to anyones failure. Laziness can take over, if you are not careful. Your main goal when you start any business, is to keep at it. Little by little, everyday keep at it. Don’t take too much in for one day. If you get frustrated, take a break. The break you take will sometimes give you some great ideas, that you would have never thought of, if you were aggravated. Your daily goals should be written out once a week or once a day. Don’t ever plan more than a week ahead, if you can help it. Plans can change so fast when you are just starting out. Your daily goals should be mapped out to reach your one main goal, maybe 6 months down the road. Make your main goal realistic and reachable. You are Probably not going to be a millionaire in 6 months.

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Some time ago I listened to Zig Ziglar’s audiobook 5 Steps to Successful Selling. The first time I played it, all I could relate it with was the selling of physical products, such as lamps, vacuum cleaners, or computers. The second time, I saw how this selling process was also applicable to the selling of services, perhaps management consulting products or legal advice. But the third go-around was the most enlightening one, since I realized the connection between the selling process and leadership: it was one and the same! This obviously does not mean that all good salespeople will necessarily be good leaders. What it does mean is that all good leaders are in a way good salespeople. Leadership involves selling ideas. It involves trying to persuade people to believe in your ‘product’, which is your vision. Leaders want to gain ‘costumers’, or followers. This is definitely not a breakthrough in human history. Many before me have expressed the link between selling and leading. Nevertheless, it is always helpful to point it out. For that reason, I have decided to attempt to demonstrate, in this short introductory series, how Zig’s 5 Steps could be implemented in the development of the leadership process. The 5 steps are: building a positive self-image, prospecting, having a planned presentation, closing, and following up.

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